The Dregs

I'm going to spare a few minutes this morning - while I am coldridden and in a particularly hostile sort of mood - to air some considerations about "Lad Culture".

It worries me somewhat that it is so well known now that it requires its own capitalisation, like a religion or a political party. It is now such a (dare I say it) "popular" "trend" that many lost and intellectually challenged young men seem to have fallen into that I feel it does require its own proper noun.

From what I can tell, the word Lad and the word Lout are interchangeable. In fact it would far more accurately be named Lout Culture if it weren't for the negative undertones the word carries. A Lad is of course a word to indicate a young man - and traditionally was always found in sentences uttered by older people EG "when I was a lad" and "he's only a lad" - a way of indicating ones youth and innocence. I don't honestly believe that the word Lad was ever meant to reference "drunken idiot behaving in traditionally loutish and misogynistic manner".

Of course you don't have to be drunk to be a Lad - indeed the persons in my own office who fall into this woeful category are not always drunks but they do seem to take pride in being always Lads. Lad behaviour may include - though is sadly not limited to - making lascivious comments at young women (and then giggling), singing well known songs from the 80s or 90s, occasionally going to the gym, but for the most part; talking about getting fucked up, actually getting fucked up and (ideally) getting fucked.

It's difficult to see how a culture so devoid of - well - substance became so popular but then I suppose you could ask the same about girls who meet up to discuss their most recent diets and what they intend to wear out tonight. I suppose the only thing that it has going for it - over Lad-Dom - is that it's not quite so fundamentally insulting to men. Lads do seem to spend a disproportionate amount of time working out how to put their bits and pieces inside lady bits and pieces and then (after failing due to being so utterly objectionable as people) talking about what a slut/prude she is (depending on what their success was) with their mates.

That's another worrying factor in itself - their categorisation of women. I'm never sure whether its just the anticipated backlash of men needing to accept women as their equals, but my my they do seem so fond of bringing her down to a selection of body parts that its fit for them to comment upon as if they somehow (as men) have some kind of expertise or qualification in this area. I suppose from their perspective it makes her easier to deal with. If she's a bundle of pleasing (if they like her) or saggy (if they don't) inny and outty bits that surely means that they can continue as the master gender. Also I think it's a little too naive to imagine that something like men's tendency to make known to their mates their opinion about bums and boobies is going to go away, or is even confined to Lad behaviour.

I know on the surface this seems much like a man hating article but it genuinely is not. I do hate Lads though I have to say. I hate people who behave like Lads but more than that I hate people who have adopted the title of Lad because it indicates a desire to be part of this group. I dislike it because the word Lad indicates something so much younger and more innocent and their choosing to use it - to me - seems like they're telling the world "oh but it's just a bit of fun isn't it? Just a few young chaps getting up to mischief". But you're not young - most of you are in your mid-20s and your cloying desire to hang on to your teens is just very unattractive. When I look at a group of these Lads I can genuinely still imagine them all dressed in their school shorts and tie, hanging around the school gate and insulting the girls who walk by - and that all might have been acceptable when you were 14 but now it's just wearing a little thin.

The fact that websites exist (ultimatelad.com, xxx and so forth) which are based around the idea of celebrating Lad behaviour is an equally worrying concern. Perhaps even more concerning is that there genuinely does seem to be a hierarchy of Lads which is entirely dependant on what extremes you're prepared to go you in the traditional lad activities of "drinking", "womanising" and "general idiocy".

I just feel like its all the things about men that I like the least rolled up into a little bundle and given a title - and it seemed like it used to be that guys were not quite so keen to tumble into this category - like they might at least like to maintain appearances, even if their private lives were very different. The fact that it is practically fashionable to behave this way and even considered effeminate or just plain boring not to is rather sad.

In my own personal experience, what's saddest of all is that I genuinely used to believe that all people were individuals and capable of rising to higher things - and this descent of young men into Lad behaviour seems totally contradictory to that ideal. The more I try and get to know them the more I realise what a thankless task that is - as if I show any level of respect or interest in their lives I know that I cannot expect to receive the same in return - and the best I can hope to receive is some kind of listing in their "Top 5".

Anyway I'm done now. Really must try to stop being so angry about everything.