You Moss-t be joking...

I am always horrified to see another monument to Kate Moss. She is, without doubt, one of the most overrated figures in pop culture.

I may as well start by saying that I don’t think supermodels are meaningful. I’ve actually seen programmes on TV dedicated to their influence on modern life, fashion, women. Yes, they’ve had an influence. They’ve turned a nation of reasonably healthy, happy teenage girls into a pack of neurotic crazies. It’s like saying that a person who has a body composed of skin and bones; who has done nothing more significant than parading up and down a runway in clothing that literally needs to be draped over their skeletal, emaciated bodies must therefore have something meaningful to say.

You’d hope, wouldn’t you, that that would be true, but it just isn’t. These women are at the forefront of the debate about body image, and instead of making regular appearances to talk about the severe negative implications of the work they do, they instead are snapped and pasted all over the tabloids with “mysterious white powder” poking out of each nostril, a fag in hand, and clearly off their face on the thimble-full of booze it takes them to get wasted. These are, without question, some of the worst role-models that exist, and no one epitomises that image more in my mind than the ridiculous, comical Kate Moss.

And she is, without question, an enormous joke, surely? I keep waiting for some day time TV presenter to pop out from behind a lawn chair and declare that it’s all a hilarious jape. Either that or possibly there is something very wrong with my eyes and when I look at that chavvie moron I see something different from everyone else. I’m not going to push my luck and say Kate Moss is ugly, but she is generic. She has generic, lanky mousy coloured hair, which I never understood, because you’d think someone with that much money would be able to afford a decent stylist for her nights out. If she wasn’t a nasty, common piece of baggage at least I’d think – “hey great, maybe she’s overrated, but at least she’s spreading a good message” – but no. Instead she’s hanging around with losers like Pete Docherty and other ugly twats, and making famously irresponsible comments about staying thin. “Rexy” I think she called it, which for anyone who doesn’t know, is a combination of the words “anorexic” and “sexy”. Real classy, Moss.

So once again some idiot has gone and made another monument to this waste of space, who already takes up too much with her starving little frame, let alone the added space she takes up having a statue of her decidedly average features in Madame Tussauds.

I guess more than Moss herself it’s the notion of supermodel as a kind of celebrity. I can’t figure out why anybody cares about the opinions of walking clothes horses, particularly when they’re so amazingly bad. It’s like Paris Hilton; these people aren’t celebrities; they’ve never done anything to deserve fame or money, and they’ll be out as soon as the next “correct bone structure” comes along. Well, we can only hope, anyway.

Let’s pray the same is true for Moss. After all, if it’s a joke, it’s getting old. Sorry, I meant SHE’S getting old. Get off my TV you wrinkly, manky old cretin.